Some famous person said “the meaning of life is the only fortune worth finding”. I still do not know the purpose of my life i.e. I have not found my fortune yet. How do we account for our lives, if at all we want to do that.
For example:
Gave more than you took.
Loved more than you rejected.
Made more friends than enemies.
Taught more from what you learned.
Gossiped less than you knew.
Ate less than you needed.
Bought less than you desired.
Did more favours than disfavours.
Helped more than needed help.
Earned more than you spent.
Saved more than you spent.
Smiled more than you frowned.
Created more than destroyed.
Planted more trees than you cut.
Served more than others served you.
Owned more than you owed.
Made more correct decisions than the wrong ones.
The big decisions were correct; the incorrect decisions were small.
Bought low, sold high, in everything.
Made more correct turns than wrong ones.
Had more new than second hand.
Recycled more than threw away.
Used the heart more than the head.
Discerned more than you saw or heard.
Complimented more than criticized.
Laughed more than cried.
Enjoyed more than suffer.
Hurt less, forgave more.
Gained more than you lost.
Wanted less, gave more.
Tolerated more, complained less.
What’s the bottom line?
That’s for you to add up.
Does it matter? I do not think you can take the score to the next world, if there is one. I have not been there yet, so I won’t know.
Perhaps it is what people will remember you by. Oh, he or she was a good person or a bastard. Memories are short, and history may or may not remember you after a while.
Life’s little equations - just feel good when it is time to go.
Saturday 21 June 2008
Monday 16 June 2008
The Greatest Loss
To lose a friend is devastating.
But there is no greater loss than someone who shared your life.
Your home, your children.
A glass of water, a plate of food.
Aspirations and tribulations.
Joys and sadness.
It is extremely tough.
You cope, you have to go on.
Make something out of your life.
You wonder on occasions, what life could have been.
Siew Tan (Sue) Cheam – Parit, Petaling Jaya, Cambridge (Boston), New York, Haberfield (Sydney).
Sultan Iskandar School. Anglo-Chinese School.
University of Malaya.
Felda, ABN-AMRO.
Red Cross, netball, long jump, badminton, even diving.
But don’t ask her to swim, jog or golf!
Beauty and brain.
A bundle of energy.
A gift from God.
Packed a lot into her life.
Did things in doubly quick time; fastest wok in town.
Achieved and gave much, but took so little.
The bloody bloody C, five years ago.
She fought her greatest battle, graciously.
Helplessly, we lost her.
We (Han, Olivia and Rachel, Joe and yours truly)
are exceedingly proud of her.
Today would have been her birthday.
She was inspiring. A life to be celebrated and remembered.
But there is no greater loss than someone who shared your life.
Your home, your children.
A glass of water, a plate of food.
Aspirations and tribulations.
Joys and sadness.
It is extremely tough.
You cope, you have to go on.
Make something out of your life.
You wonder on occasions, what life could have been.
Siew Tan (Sue) Cheam – Parit, Petaling Jaya, Cambridge (Boston), New York, Haberfield (Sydney).
Sultan Iskandar School. Anglo-Chinese School.
University of Malaya.
Felda, ABN-AMRO.
Red Cross, netball, long jump, badminton, even diving.
But don’t ask her to swim, jog or golf!
Beauty and brain.
A bundle of energy.
A gift from God.
Packed a lot into her life.
Did things in doubly quick time; fastest wok in town.
Achieved and gave much, but took so little.
The bloody bloody C, five years ago.
She fought her greatest battle, graciously.
Helplessly, we lost her.
We (Han, Olivia and Rachel, Joe and yours truly)
are exceedingly proud of her.
Today would have been her birthday.
She was inspiring. A life to be celebrated and remembered.
Friday 13 June 2008
Words for Living
I watched an inspiring story from the American ABC last week. (Who says TV is not educational!) It was about an American professor who was given only a few months to live, and what he decided to do during the last few months of his life. If you go to Google and do a search of The Last Lecture, you will be able to read all about it.
One of the things that caught my interest was something that his wife said.
The TV presenter asked her what she tells herself every day, knowing that her husband will be gone soon and will leave her with three young children. Without any hesitation, she said “I have all that I need”. That was her answer. Period.
It was her way of coping with the situation she was facing. It is true that she probably will have adequate finances and a house to raise the children. Plus she can always go back to work at some time in the future. She has three lovely children, relatives and friends to support her. So in a sense she has all that she needs. It is better than thinking about all the uncertainties that she will soon face when her husband dies; better than giving herself a negative outlook.
At times of needs, we need words that will reassure us and give us some hope and optimism; words that make up a mantra, not in the incantation sense but as a way of thinking.
In difficult times, one’s mind can be bombarded by fear, anxiety and questions. For every positive thought, there may be three or four negative counter points. It is important to be able to focus on an important thought (or pattern of thinking) that will stay above all others. Every time, we have some negative thoughts, we go back to our mantra to keep ourselves sane, rational, and focused (on the right things).
Years ago, I had a friend who was a recent migrant to Australia. He found it very difficult to adjust to the new country and I used to re-assure him by saying “things can only improve”. I would like to think that those words gave him hope and sustained him through his difficult days.
When my late wife was fighting cancer, we came up with “do not get ahead of the situation; take one day at a time”. Every time we worry or feel anxious to find out what was happening, we calmed ourselves with those words.
When she passed away, I dealt with it by saying “there are things that I cannot change”. If I could have changed things, she would not have got cancer or died from it, but I couldn’t. I did all I could to give her tender loving care, motivate her through the difficult days, celebrate her good days, talked her through the dark hours, just about everything that one could possibly do, but they all came to nothing at the end. So I have to tell myself to accept her death as fate, God’s will or whatever, without any guilt.
Another mantra that I find useful for myself is “don’t look back, look ahead”. When things seem dismay because of a mistake, there is really no point in blaming yourself or anyone else. Just cop it sweet and move on with your life. No matter how much you may have lost, think “I have life”.
Life has its ups and downs. There may be a few occasions in your life when you will find yourself in a tough situation. I do hope that you will find the words to help you keep going. Talking to others about your problems may allow you to come up with the words that will be meaningful to you. Good luck!
One of the things that caught my interest was something that his wife said.
The TV presenter asked her what she tells herself every day, knowing that her husband will be gone soon and will leave her with three young children. Without any hesitation, she said “I have all that I need”. That was her answer. Period.
It was her way of coping with the situation she was facing. It is true that she probably will have adequate finances and a house to raise the children. Plus she can always go back to work at some time in the future. She has three lovely children, relatives and friends to support her. So in a sense she has all that she needs. It is better than thinking about all the uncertainties that she will soon face when her husband dies; better than giving herself a negative outlook.
At times of needs, we need words that will reassure us and give us some hope and optimism; words that make up a mantra, not in the incantation sense but as a way of thinking.
In difficult times, one’s mind can be bombarded by fear, anxiety and questions. For every positive thought, there may be three or four negative counter points. It is important to be able to focus on an important thought (or pattern of thinking) that will stay above all others. Every time, we have some negative thoughts, we go back to our mantra to keep ourselves sane, rational, and focused (on the right things).
Years ago, I had a friend who was a recent migrant to Australia. He found it very difficult to adjust to the new country and I used to re-assure him by saying “things can only improve”. I would like to think that those words gave him hope and sustained him through his difficult days.
When my late wife was fighting cancer, we came up with “do not get ahead of the situation; take one day at a time”. Every time we worry or feel anxious to find out what was happening, we calmed ourselves with those words.
When she passed away, I dealt with it by saying “there are things that I cannot change”. If I could have changed things, she would not have got cancer or died from it, but I couldn’t. I did all I could to give her tender loving care, motivate her through the difficult days, celebrate her good days, talked her through the dark hours, just about everything that one could possibly do, but they all came to nothing at the end. So I have to tell myself to accept her death as fate, God’s will or whatever, without any guilt.
Another mantra that I find useful for myself is “don’t look back, look ahead”. When things seem dismay because of a mistake, there is really no point in blaming yourself or anyone else. Just cop it sweet and move on with your life. No matter how much you may have lost, think “I have life”.
Life has its ups and downs. There may be a few occasions in your life when you will find yourself in a tough situation. I do hope that you will find the words to help you keep going. Talking to others about your problems may allow you to come up with the words that will be meaningful to you. Good luck!
Sunday 8 June 2008
The Stages of One's Life
Early stage:
This is the nurturing stage. YOU are the one being nurtured, if you have forgotten. Do this, do that. Don’t do that. Learn this. Study that. Don’t stay out too late. Learn the good things. Be a sponge and absorb everything. You prepare yourself, inspite of your parents and teachers, for the next stages of your life and how to make a living.
Mid-stage
You get a job, marry, and start a family. Nobody actually told you to do the latter. That folly meant you spend the rest of your life paying off a mortgage, working your heart out to raise the family, and trying to save for the later stage of your life. Every now and then, you try to enjoy your life i.e. have some holidays, buy a new car, spend the bank’s money, do something naughty. This is the stage of building. Not quite sure what. My stage just breezed by and I am unable to recall what happened. Yes, I do remember the stress and struggles. Fortunately, a good spouse and wonderful children are great compensation.
Later stage
You are an empty nester. There are more rooms than people in the house. Now you have a bit of change left over after paying your medical bills. This is the time to put up your legs, make peace, and age graciously. Or you can go tearing around full of vitality. It is nobody’s affair, but yours.
This is the age of giving – wisdom, effort, time or money. As the song goes, you are the world. If you have enough for yourself, it is the time to help others.
For once, you have time you have for yourself, after babysitting and granny duties. Now is the time you get to do the things you want to do. If you are still married, I hope you already have an understanding with your other half that you are free to do what you choose. I have nothing against marriages. They serve some purposes. Yours.
If you are widowed, don’t even bother to jump back into another tie-up. As they say, marriage is a three-ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. You won’t be so lucky this time. Nobody wins a lottery twice. You do not need another person to make you happy. If you need domestic help, it is cheaper to employ a maid.
Love? Don’t even think about it. Just let it remain on Lionel Ritchie’s CD. Give your love to everybody else (that should be the title of a new single by the previously battered Tina Turner). It will be a waste to give your love to only one person. Love the whole world, all 3 billion of them.
Why risk getting into a mess when you are now free to walk where your nose leads you, eat what and when you want, travel where you want to go, give your money to whoever you like, come home whenever you wish, wear pajama the whole day, have the TV to yourself, do anything without a second opinion?
This could very well be the best time of your life. Make use of it. Aging is a one way street, no turning back.
There is no other stage after this.
P.s. don’t take what you read too seriously.
This is the nurturing stage. YOU are the one being nurtured, if you have forgotten. Do this, do that. Don’t do that. Learn this. Study that. Don’t stay out too late. Learn the good things. Be a sponge and absorb everything. You prepare yourself, inspite of your parents and teachers, for the next stages of your life and how to make a living.
Mid-stage
You get a job, marry, and start a family. Nobody actually told you to do the latter. That folly meant you spend the rest of your life paying off a mortgage, working your heart out to raise the family, and trying to save for the later stage of your life. Every now and then, you try to enjoy your life i.e. have some holidays, buy a new car, spend the bank’s money, do something naughty. This is the stage of building. Not quite sure what. My stage just breezed by and I am unable to recall what happened. Yes, I do remember the stress and struggles. Fortunately, a good spouse and wonderful children are great compensation.
Later stage
You are an empty nester. There are more rooms than people in the house. Now you have a bit of change left over after paying your medical bills. This is the time to put up your legs, make peace, and age graciously. Or you can go tearing around full of vitality. It is nobody’s affair, but yours.
This is the age of giving – wisdom, effort, time or money. As the song goes, you are the world. If you have enough for yourself, it is the time to help others.
For once, you have time you have for yourself, after babysitting and granny duties. Now is the time you get to do the things you want to do. If you are still married, I hope you already have an understanding with your other half that you are free to do what you choose. I have nothing against marriages. They serve some purposes. Yours.
If you are widowed, don’t even bother to jump back into another tie-up. As they say, marriage is a three-ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. You won’t be so lucky this time. Nobody wins a lottery twice. You do not need another person to make you happy. If you need domestic help, it is cheaper to employ a maid.
Love? Don’t even think about it. Just let it remain on Lionel Ritchie’s CD. Give your love to everybody else (that should be the title of a new single by the previously battered Tina Turner). It will be a waste to give your love to only one person. Love the whole world, all 3 billion of them.
Why risk getting into a mess when you are now free to walk where your nose leads you, eat what and when you want, travel where you want to go, give your money to whoever you like, come home whenever you wish, wear pajama the whole day, have the TV to yourself, do anything without a second opinion?
This could very well be the best time of your life. Make use of it. Aging is a one way street, no turning back.
There is no other stage after this.
P.s. don’t take what you read too seriously.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)