Saturday, 21 June 2008

Life's Little Equations

Some famous person said “the meaning of life is the only fortune worth finding”. I still do not know the purpose of my life i.e. I have not found my fortune yet. How do we account for our lives, if at all we want to do that.

For example:

Gave more than you took.
Loved more than you rejected.
Made more friends than enemies.
Taught more from what you learned.
Gossiped less than you knew.
Ate less than you needed.
Bought less than you desired.
Did more favours than disfavours.
Helped more than needed help.
Earned more than you spent.
Saved more than you spent.
Smiled more than you frowned.
Created more than destroyed.
Planted more trees than you cut.
Served more than others served you.
Owned more than you owed.
Made more correct decisions than the wrong ones.
The big decisions were correct; the incorrect decisions were small.
Bought low, sold high, in everything.
Made more correct turns than wrong ones.
Had more new than second hand.
Recycled more than threw away.
Used the heart more than the head.
Discerned more than you saw or heard.
Complimented more than criticized.
Laughed more than cried.
Enjoyed more than suffer.
Hurt less, forgave more.
Gained more than you lost.
Wanted less, gave more.
Tolerated more, complained less.

What’s the bottom line?
That’s for you to add up.
Does it matter? I do not think you can take the score to the next world, if there is one. I have not been there yet, so I won’t know.
Perhaps it is what people will remember you by. Oh, he or she was a good person or a bastard. Memories are short, and history may or may not remember you after a while.

Life’s little equations - just feel good when it is time to go.

Monday, 16 June 2008

The Greatest Loss

To lose a friend is devastating.

But there is no greater loss than someone who shared your life.
Your home, your children.
A glass of water, a plate of food.
Aspirations and tribulations.
Joys and sadness.

It is extremely tough.

You cope, you have to go on.
Make something out of your life.

You wonder on occasions, what life could have been.

Siew Tan (Sue) Cheam – Parit, Petaling Jaya, Cambridge (Boston), New York, Haberfield (Sydney).
Sultan Iskandar School. Anglo-Chinese School.
University of Malaya.
Felda, ABN-AMRO.
Red Cross, netball, long jump, badminton, even diving.
But don’t ask her to swim, jog or golf!

Beauty and brain.
A bundle of energy.
A gift from God.
Packed a lot into her life.
Did things in doubly quick time; fastest wok in town.
Achieved and gave much, but took so little.

The bloody bloody C, five years ago.
She fought her greatest battle, graciously.
Helplessly, we lost her.


We (Han, Olivia and Rachel, Joe and yours truly)
are exceedingly proud of her.

Today would have been her birthday.

She was inspiring. A life to be celebrated and remembered.

Friday, 13 June 2008

Words for Living

I watched an inspiring story from the American ABC last week. (Who says TV is not educational!) It was about an American professor who was given only a few months to live, and what he decided to do during the last few months of his life. If you go to Google and do a search of The Last Lecture, you will be able to read all about it.

One of the things that caught my interest was something that his wife said.
The TV presenter asked her what she tells herself every day, knowing that her husband will be gone soon and will leave her with three young children. Without any hesitation, she said “I have all that I need”. That was her answer. Period.

It was her way of coping with the situation she was facing. It is true that she probably will have adequate finances and a house to raise the children. Plus she can always go back to work at some time in the future. She has three lovely children, relatives and friends to support her. So in a sense she has all that she needs. It is better than thinking about all the uncertainties that she will soon face when her husband dies; better than giving herself a negative outlook.
At times of needs, we need words that will reassure us and give us some hope and optimism; words that make up a mantra, not in the incantation sense but as a way of thinking.
In difficult times, one’s mind can be bombarded by fear, anxiety and questions. For every positive thought, there may be three or four negative counter points. It is important to be able to focus on an important thought (or pattern of thinking) that will stay above all others. Every time, we have some negative thoughts, we go back to our mantra to keep ourselves sane, rational, and focused (on the right things).

Years ago, I had a friend who was a recent migrant to Australia. He found it very difficult to adjust to the new country and I used to re-assure him by saying “things can only improve”. I would like to think that those words gave him hope and sustained him through his difficult days.

When my late wife was fighting cancer, we came up with “do not get ahead of the situation; take one day at a time”. Every time we worry or feel anxious to find out what was happening, we calmed ourselves with those words.

When she passed away, I dealt with it by saying “there are things that I cannot change”. If I could have changed things, she would not have got cancer or died from it, but I couldn’t. I did all I could to give her tender loving care, motivate her through the difficult days, celebrate her good days, talked her through the dark hours, just about everything that one could possibly do, but they all came to nothing at the end. So I have to tell myself to accept her death as fate, God’s will or whatever, without any guilt.

Another mantra that I find useful for myself is “don’t look back, look ahead”. When things seem dismay because of a mistake, there is really no point in blaming yourself or anyone else. Just cop it sweet and move on with your life. No matter how much you may have lost, think “I have life”.

Life has its ups and downs. There may be a few occasions in your life when you will find yourself in a tough situation. I do hope that you will find the words to help you keep going. Talking to others about your problems may allow you to come up with the words that will be meaningful to you. Good luck!

Sunday, 8 June 2008

The Stages of One's Life

Early stage:
This is the nurturing stage. YOU are the one being nurtured, if you have forgotten. Do this, do that. Don’t do that. Learn this. Study that. Don’t stay out too late. Learn the good things. Be a sponge and absorb everything. You prepare yourself, inspite of your parents and teachers, for the next stages of your life and how to make a living.
Mid-stage
You get a job, marry, and start a family. Nobody actually told you to do the latter. That folly meant you spend the rest of your life paying off a mortgage, working your heart out to raise the family, and trying to save for the later stage of your life. Every now and then, you try to enjoy your life i.e. have some holidays, buy a new car, spend the bank’s money, do something naughty. This is the stage of building. Not quite sure what. My stage just breezed by and I am unable to recall what happened. Yes, I do remember the stress and struggles. Fortunately, a good spouse and wonderful children are great compensation.
Later stage
You are an empty nester. There are more rooms than people in the house. Now you have a bit of change left over after paying your medical bills. This is the time to put up your legs, make peace, and age graciously. Or you can go tearing around full of vitality. It is nobody’s affair, but yours.
This is the age of giving – wisdom, effort, time or money. As the song goes, you are the world. If you have enough for yourself, it is the time to help others.

For once, you have time you have for yourself, after babysitting and granny duties. Now is the time you get to do the things you want to do. If you are still married, I hope you already have an understanding with your other half that you are free to do what you choose. I have nothing against marriages. They serve some purposes. Yours.
If you are widowed, don’t even bother to jump back into another tie-up. As they say, marriage is a three-ring circus – engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. You won’t be so lucky this time. Nobody wins a lottery twice. You do not need another person to make you happy. If you need domestic help, it is cheaper to employ a maid.
Love? Don’t even think about it. Just let it remain on Lionel Ritchie’s CD. Give your love to everybody else (that should be the title of a new single by the previously battered Tina Turner). It will be a waste to give your love to only one person. Love the whole world, all 3 billion of them.
Why risk getting into a mess when you are now free to walk where your nose leads you, eat what and when you want, travel where you want to go, give your money to whoever you like, come home whenever you wish, wear pajama the whole day, have the TV to yourself, do anything without a second opinion?

This could very well be the best time of your life. Make use of it. Aging is a one way street, no turning back.

There is no other stage after this.

P.s. don’t take what you read too seriously.

Saturday, 31 May 2008

The Building Blocks of a Good Society

This is neither an authoritative nor prescriptive exposition. It is based on one person’s experience with life in a reasonably democratic country with fundamental human rights. You learn something. You share, even in an imperfect way. And you hope the next person will take it, use it or improve on it.
If you are living in a society with room for improvement, you may want to consider my recipe. This is, of course, not an exhaustive list.

Freedom of speech. This includes a free press. Political parties cannot have any shareholding or interests in newspapers and TV stations. They can be allowed to have specialized political newspapers or magazines or even a TV channel, but will never be allowed to monopolise political thoughts, just as no large corporation will be allowed to dominate any market. A free press plays a critical role in ensuring human rights are not compromised. Investigative journalism contributes to a more honest and transparent society. Freedom of speech empowers the people to speak for themselves, to criticise what is wrong, and convey their needs to the government their.

A free market, with provisions against anti-competitive behaviour on the part of large corporations, leads to efficiency in the society and the greatest benefits to society.

Independent judiciary system. The Prime Minister is unable to appoint or sack the key people in the judiciary system. The system has to be seen as fair, and independent of influences from the politicians, organized crime, or any party.

Independent electoral system. Likewise, the appointment of the head has to be debated and approved by Parliament, not unlike the appointment of key positions in the US government. Nominees have to be subjected to public scrutiny.

Accountable police and security forces. A public commission will oversee the activities of the police and security forces. The police will have to act within the law and cannot go beyond their prescribed powers.

The government should fund a viable opposition to the government. This involves paying a salary to an opposition “cabinet of shadow ministers” and funding the establishment of offices and basic staffing of all members of Parliament so that they have some means of serving the electorate. There should also be funding to enable people and political parties to offer themselves for election. This will ensure a viable and participative democracy.

Transparency and anti-corruption. Establish a “permanent transparency and anti-corruption commission” which can investigate any transaction involving politicians and public servants. A parallel commission will look at transaction involving corporations e.g. directors over-valuing an acquisition or overlooking the interests of shareholders.
All members of Parliament, politicians holding positions in their parties, and all public servants will have to declare their pecuniary interests and report changes when appropriate.
Freedom of information. The public and journalists will have greater access to how decisions were made in government.

An anti-discrimination commission to ensure that the minorities are not discriminated against and that people of all races and background have equal rights to pursue their lives.

Check and balance instruments
The government should fund and encourage the development of bodies such as consumer association, health commission, education commission, employer groups, unions, motorist association, shareholders association, public transport commission, rent and housing commission, and police commission to provide another voice and mechanism that the interest of the public is well looked after. These bodies will be run independently and will keep an overview of issues affecting the public.

Good governments leading to good societies – something to hope for.

Monday, 26 May 2008

An Amnesty for Corruption?

The Philippines was at one time the most “westernized” of Asian countries, with prolonged influence from the Spanish and Americans. In fact it was and still is the only Catholic Asian country. Some of its people have names that appear to be western rather than Asian. Seemingly more democratized, you would have expected it to fare better. Unfortunately, democracy did not live up to its promises.

How is it that with all the democratic institutions such as free speech, free elections, etc, the country did not progress as much as some of the other countries such as Malaysia where there is no real freedom of speech and opposition leaders get arrested under the internal security law?

The finger can be pointed at corruption. Corruption deeply entrenched in society is such a curse that infant democracy cannot get rid of it. President Aquino had good intentions but corruption persists.

Corruption is bad, a big SIN. There is no other way to look at it. Even the fear of punishment from the Almighty God will not deter people of any religion from being corrupted.

Two recent corruption cases were in the news recently. One in Malaysia involved someone who is a friend of the Malaysian Deputy Prime Minister. The Malaysian Ministry of Defence, which the Deputy Prime Minister headed as defense minister, paid 1 billion euros (RM4.5 billion at that time) for the purchase of submarines. A company in which this friend has interests, Perimekar, received a commission of 114 million euros, a whopping 11 percent of the sales price of the submarines. This matter has received media attention now because the person involved is on trial for murder, with two Malaysian army personnel, of his Mongolian lover. Talk about transparency in government decisions!

The second case is from Indonesia. The Sydney Morning Herald on 23 May reported on a corruption trial. US$2.85 billion sourced from public funds was lost in a loan given to an Indonesian tycoon some years ago. The Indonesian Attorney-General’s office dropped the fraud charge against the tycoon. Two days later, a state prosecutor was arrested in the tycoon’s house with a box containing US$600,000 in cash. Also arrested was a woman business associate of the tycoon, who claimed she was only lending the money to the state prosecutor. The state attorney had apparently organized for the woman to meet a junior attorney-general and the director of special crimes to discuss the investigation into the loan from Bank Indonesia. The latter two people have not been implicated in any corruption charge. (I have to give credit to President Yudhoyuno for his anti-corruption intiatives in Indonesia; the same cannot be said of Prime Minister Badawi of Malaysia who planned an anti-corruption drive that went nowhere).

We are not talking of small bucks in the above cases; money belonging to the people.
114 million euros in Malaysia and US$2.85 billion in Indonesia; money that could been used to build hospitals, schools, roads, etc.

These are just the tip of the iceberg, so to say. Big money decisions are made all the time. Corruption changes the way decisions are made. You can say the decisions that are made will not be the right ones or the best ones, because it will no longer be a fair process. In any corrupt society, you can bet many sub-optimal decisions are made every day! Imagine the costs to society.

No matter what values or religion you have, or from what standpoint you look at it, there is no justification for corruption. Corruption is wrong. Corruption is a crime against society, against humanity! The penalty should be severe for such a crime.

Corruption can only be eradicated if there is solid political will, something that we seldom see. Human failings than strength (of leaders) are more common in anti-corruption drives. For example, you are the president of a nation and you have good intentions of fighting corruption. You set about and get a few people arrested for corruption. Then you ultimately find that your greatest ally in politics is corrupted. Do you put a sting operation, arrest him or her, and lose some of your own support base?

After thinking long and hard, this idea comes to mind. It is not an original idea. It does not matter; it may work. Offer an amnesty for a certain period of time. This is not dissimilar to the amnesty for crimes during the apartheid years in South Africa. Own up and return some of the money, and you can live the rest of your life as a free man. In the process of owning up, you will have to provide details of how you obtained the money. This means names will be given to the authorities. This will put more pressure on other people to own up in case their names have been provided by others.

It may seem counter-intuitive, allowing the robbers of society to get away. But it appears to me that this is one way of fighting corruption. It is worth trying.

Governments, rights, corruption, and society

Why am I writing about these matters? You can’t avoid these subjects once you think about life, or about the problems people face in living their lives. You expect that all countries will progress so that their people will have better lives. But it is not so. There are countries which go backwards.

Human rights, freedom of speech, the proficiency of governments, and corruption – they are all inter-related. Governments which deny their people of fundamental human rights end up abusing their power. Public funds are misused. Relatives and cronies are rewarded; public funds are wasted. There is no transparency and accountability in the government’s actions. The public service gets corrupted. The majority of the people have lost their natural access to opportunities. The privileged ones get richer and the poor gets poorer. Law enforcement and the judiciary become corrupted as well or are directed by corrupt politicians. Human rights deteriorate. If you live in one of those countries, you will know all the horror stories.

Governments have to take the blame. Bad governments create the environment for the abuse of power, corruption and poverty. As if being poor is not bad enough, the people are also oppressed by the lack of basic human rights. And they have no power or means to speak out against injustice.

Bad governments do not value their people. Their lives are nothing. Look at Burma now after the typhoon. There have been calls to charge the generals for crimes against humanity, if people were to die because foreign aid was not permitted to reach them.

No amount of foreign aid or charity is able to make a dent on poor countries. Firstly, a lot of the aid may end up in the wrong hands. Secondly, whatever is built up is often destroyed by wars, racial uprisings or civil disorders. Infrastructures and institutions are destroyed. An entire generation or two may go without education or a normal life, where you go to work to make a living, and return to a home and family. All it takes is just one bad president or prime minister.

What I am going to say will be controversial. I can see why so many western leaders are talking about human rights. I can see why George Bush invaded Iraq, with all the atrocities committed by the late Saddam Hussein against our fellow human beings. It may appear right for the world to take over Burma and Zimbabwe, if only it can be that straightforward. The world may need to intervene in some countries. One can’t help thinking like this.

So I cry out about human rights, corruption and good governments. These all the things we have to look at in order to have a better world.